Last Thursday morning, I was called to deliver some items to her hospital room so her brief stay for a routine procedure would be more comfortable. My grandmother had a severe stroke in July of 2008 that robbed her of the ability to use her left arm and leg. Over the last 18+ months, her mind has oscillated between clarity and confusion, punctuated by spells of visits from her mother, husband and others who have passed on.
I sat beside the bed and gently rubbed her hand. We discussed the weather, my job search and her concerns about my youngest brother’s first child. As I stood to leave, I kissed her on the head and told her I loved her. She strained to return the affectionate words and unintentionally reminded me how much I have changed:
“Be happy.”
“I am,” I said reflexively with a grateful smile. It struck me how good it felt to speak that truth and, in doing so, to realize how far I’ve come for it to be more than a hollow statement to allay someone else’s worries. As I made my way home, I went over the keys to this shift.
Make the decision.
Yes, being happy starts with a choice. As a matter of fact, everything does. It’s just a matter of whether you do so by willful intention or unconscious commission. The knock-on effect of your selections leads to your circumstances.
Think constructively.
Paying your bills or raising your children isn’t made any easier—or more effective—by worrying. Be mindful of the possibilities within your control instead of blissfully ignorant of—or crushed under—a situation’s gravity. Understand what you can do instead of focusing on what you can’t.
Practice active hopefulness.
The growing popularity of The Secret has misled some that things fall together with a good dose of positive mental attitude. While mindset is important, the key is to realize your active role in your life. Don’t sit in traffic and hope cars miss you.
In the beginning, you’ll do small stuff. Maybe you’ll read books or seek out an education of some kind. Perhaps you’ll focus primarily on keeping your frame of mind right at first. These steps will probably seem inconsequential, but so does that first bit of snow that causes an avalanche.
Take a minute to think. What can you do today to get the ball rolling?
“Most jobs aren’t glamorous.”
Those four words have bounced through my head several times during the last few weeks. I noticed them as I scanned a collection of notes for The Essential Wooden by one of my favorite leaders, former UCLA basketball coach John Wooden.
Though this phrase was in reference to team building and helping each person understand his or her role, it has been little comfort in this era of my life. As tears of frustration and disconnection well up in my eyes, feeling as though I just have to do something to make money angers me.
I am dissatisfied with the idea that work should be a passionless means to an end, a way to gather money eight hours a day and then snap the day’s stress into my briefcase for the ride home. The idea that misery with monetary benefit is how I should spend a third of my weekdays turns my stomach.
I have tired of feeling guilty for desiring to be different and silently apologizing for going against the flow into cubicle hell. I have a seething disdain for the idea each of us is here to survive life and wistfully hope for something better, to dream of a time in the past where a different decision would have made for a positive experience.
I have chosen to believe differently.
Instead of strapping into a chair and filling out TPS reports in the hopes my 401(k) will last me from 65 until I die, I’m pursuing me. I’m loosening the shackles of old expectations, shedding the weight of old thoughts that pushed me toward delusions of money and grandeur. I must die knowing I lived and, though I may be far from what I’m made to do for this day, endeavor each morning to take another step closer to my purpose, my dream and my service to God.
So, I’ve chosen to do my damnedest to remember this next time my brain reels at the thought of a shift at the office supply store or teaching a class just for the money.
“…we are all given a certain potential unique to each one of us. Our first responsibility is to make the utmost effort to bring forth that potential in service to our team.”
Step into the game. We’re all on the same team.
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Yesterday, I gave you four words from John Wooden that I believe have led people to think misery is normal:
“Most jobs aren’t glamorous.”
My mind took an unexpected turn in the process and I ended up missing the point I wanted to make. Today I’m going to give you the six words I meant to:
“…but yours should be to you.”
Mr. Wooden is correct, the variety of occupations out there means most people will be something other than a movie star or professional athlete. However, the idea that our work has to bring fame or fortune is a misguided conception of prestige.
Instead of measuring the “glamor” in our lives by the number of paparazzi behind us, let’s tip the scales in favor of enjoyment and passion.
Which sounds more appealing, being in the public fishbowl all the time or coming home to your family feeling you’ve done something worthwhile? Would you rather be fatigued by the emotional toxicity of your environment or worn out from the amount of your soul you put into your day?
Most of us go into a field because of things like “return on investment,” thinking the money spent in college will be worth it because the pay can be great. We set aside “childish fascinations” to be sure we can handle “adult responsibilities.”
Think about this: Who seems to be having the most fun? Is it the guy that remembers wanting to be an engineer since he was six or the woman that decided to enter the field because there was a better chance she’d get a job? Do you think Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey fell into their careers based on how much they would earn?
The old saying goes: “Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
It’s a lie…but what other than love could make you really work like that?
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Sometimes, you find something in the middle of nothing.
In the midst of tremendous quiet, you hear a whisper. It’s startling. It’s moving. It’s clear. The plug is in the outlet and the light is blinding. The simplicity is striking and humbling. Strangely, you find comfort with it as you wonder why you didn’t think of it before.
Something finally makes sense.
It’s the gift you’ve been waiting to open, the package you’ve hoped would be delivered. It’s presented to you for the achievement of a purpose. It is energetic and focused, strong and unbreakable. It is an end for a means, a result for your work.
Something is what you live for.
This idea is the seed. Much depends on what you do with it. Will you give it the attention required to grow or ignore it as it withers? Will you choose to help it live grandly or allow it to die silently with its potential?
Something requires you to act.
This is the power of something.
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